Teething baby, heading for a breakdown and a lazy boyfriend!

Hiyyah Everyone

So Milly is teething so so bad right now it’s unreal! 

I don’t know if it feels worse for me because I am so suicidal and so done that It’s just another thing I have to worry about bu unfortunately can’t do much about!

I hate her being in pain but she has about 6 teeth coming through all at once which im sure is incredibly painful!

Unfortunately we have run out of calpol and ibroprophine which was helping, we are nearly out of bonjella and we have no money to buy anymore! STRESS

I would take the pain from her any day of the week if I could.

Mentally I’m in such a bad place that I just can’t cope with anything else! 

I feel like it’s all on me, everything is down to me.

We are moving in three weeks so I’m going to have to pack up the house whilst trying to stop a one year old pulling everything I have packed back out. MORE STRESS

We have people viewing the house to come rent it when we move into our new house which is incredibly stressfull because trying to keep the house tidy and clean with a one year old is very difficult. EVEN MORE STRESS!

Luckily we are keeping the same landlord and lady but I’m glad because they are very understanding of our situation!
We are in so much debt I don’t even know where to start, what to do, how to even start trying to pay it! So I just feel the debts are all in my name so if I kill myself nobody else will have to worry about them. EVEN MORE STRESS ON TOP

My partner is an amazing dad but he is Lazy. He sleeps until like one in the afternoon. So it’s down to me to get up with milly,give her breakfast,  get her dressed, put her down for a nap, wake my partner up, get milly lunch, get us lunch, change all millys nappys, entertain milly most of the day, do millys tea, bath milly, get her ready for bed (sometimes my partner helps) put her to bed, sort milly when she crys, get up in the night and get her milk or whatever she needs! Then it starts all over again!

Not only that I do the washing, drying, loading and unloading of dishwasher, i make tea most nights, wash millys bottels, put all clothes away!

Basically I do everything. I try tell him I need his help and every time he says yes I will do more or he says I’m trying my best! 

No I’m trying my best! I want to be dead, I don’t want to get out of bed but I do because I have to!

I love the bones of my partner and im scared of loosing him because I love him and I don’t want to be on my own but he is Lazy!

I can’t continue like this for much longer. I feel like a slave sometimes. Once we move and I start to feel better I am going to ask him to help me more than he does!

Because right now I’m falling apart, i have no fight left in me and all this, everything I have wrote is all too much!

Thanks for reading 
Night Xx

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