I don’t want to die… but I do

Hiyyah Everyone

So let me explain to you all what I mean!

I was talking to my boyfriend last night laid in bed and I was saying milly dosen’t need me because she has you! 

But he replied if you killed yourself I would probably kill myself so milly wouldn’t have either of us!

So I explained it’s not that I want to die it’s the fact I want everything that goes on in my brain to stop and the only way that will ever happen is to kill myself!

Do you understand what I mean? 

I know people think that it’s selfish but it’s really not because if you could be in my head all day everyday then you might understand why we get to this point!

I’m not saying that today I’m going to kill myself but there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about it!

The crisis team have been to see me and they are thinking my medication may need looking at because it may not be doing what it should be!

The lady who came to see me was really nice and because lee is going to be here tomorrow so they are going to come on monday unless I need them tommorow I can just ring and they will come.

Thanks for reading!
Have a good afternoon

Xx 

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